Monday, December 3, 2012
The Gift My Mother Left Me.
No one knows what it feels like to be me. No one knows what it feels like to be me. People will never understand the feeling of paying for someone else's mistakes. Everyday I face reality that I will never be able to live a normal life. Knowing that I could never give birth breaks my heart. I remember when my mother passed away. I always wondered how she passed but nobody would tell me. As I got older I realized she died from the curse my daddy gave her. She reluctantly phage me that same gift. I've always known I had the virus. I knew before I was old enough to know what a gift was. I knew that life was like a competition. The pride was me. The opposing teams are life and death. It got harder as the years went by. Serious relationships have failed because of my curse. I was born into tragedy. I never really had a chance at a normal life. Just hearing the word "HIV" bpulls a dark cloud over my soul. But then again, maybe its not a curse. Maybe its a gift in disguise. Either way, this virus won't win this fight. God didn't bring me this far to leave me. I believe in Him. I trust in Him. I have hope. Maybe that's how my mother died. Maybe my dad's gift didn't kill her. Maybe she died because she ran out of hope.